Helen Speaks

I have something to confess. I am fat.

You may have thought I was overweight, chubby, curvy, a bit on the squishy side, large (I’m barely 5’4″) or even obese (ick). But no. I am fat.

For some reason, fat is often a bit of a dirty word. Which makes me sad. And this is because us fatties are apparently bad, bad people. We use up more of the earth’s resources, we are selfish, we are lazy, we are greedy.

Are we bad for the planet? Well, I am a vegetarian train enthusiast, and I know a number of fat climate activists. Are we selfish and lazy? It would be arrogant to assert my own selflessness, however a vast number of the fat people I know are incredibly nice and selfless. From my own observance, fatness and selfishness are entirely uncorrellated. Fat people actually have personalities just as rich and varied as everyone else. Are we greedy? I like to eat and particularly enjoy cake.  However, this is true of many people, fat and thin. Also, many fat people I have known have not particularly enjoyed eating, even cake. Partly because, being fat, they are told constantly, by the media if not by people they know, that eating while fat is a crime, punishable with scorn and shame.

“It’s not all bad,” some might say. “Aren’t fat people meant to be jolly?” We would probably be more jolly if people stopped treating us as though we are selfish, lazy, greedy and bad for the planet.

Fatness is not inherently bad. Neither is thinness. But we are a world filled with visual culture, that celebrates one sort of body and derides many others as being ugly, hateful, disgusting. It is easy to hate your body if it does not come up to that perfect standard. But I think that body hatred in all its forms is rubbish.  And like all rubbish, I think it should be thrown out wherever it is found.

“BUT BEING FAT IS BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH!!” cry the people, just at the very moment a glimmer of self-esteem appears through the clouds of doubt, just as the thought “Maybe I’m OK” dares to dart across ones brain. “YOU MUST LOSE WEIGHT! YOU MUUUUUST!!” All because of a number on a BMI chart.

It turns out that health is much more complex than just your BMI score. For one thing, as a scientist*, I can safely say that BMI is a load of unscientific horseshit (it’s a technical term)**.

What’s BMI, anyway? Body Mass Index is the term. It’s your weight, divided by your height, and then given a handy score. This is NOT how you calculate volume, or indeed ‘body mass’. It does not take into account muscle mass, body shape, fitness or anything else really. It is the crudest of crude indicators. And it annoys the heck out of me when doctors (and everyone else) act as though the fat person’s way to health is to just take down that BMI score. It is has very little to say about general health and the reasons that a person may be fat are many and varied; it comes down to all sorts of things, including food, drink, activity, physical ability, metabolism, mental health and genetic make-up, and probably many more.  The BMI doesn’t even say if a person is actually fat or not – various muscle-toned types are actually ‘obese’.

Yet, it seems, the moment that score is a bit high, one must spend ones time focusing solely on bringing it back down. A lot of weight loss culture seems to focus on the idea that we can only accept our bodies once they are an acceptable size. That we cannot wear a swimsuit on the beach until slim, or wear nice clothes, or even get married, if we are too fat to fit a standard. Friends who are also fat have told me that they have ignored health problems and not gone to the doctor because they have worried that the doctor would tell them that it was just because they were fat. I am distressed when I read weightloss tales of women who before their weightloss were too ashamed to go out, visit the beach or the theatre or wear clothes they liked, because they hated their body and thought others would hate it too.

So here’s the first thing on MY health plan – love your body. This is not just about loving what it looks like, I must add. I’m not saying that we all have to start thinking that our own bodies are super gorgeous. Of course you can if you want. I’m in favour of that. But I think it’s more about acceptance – loving your body for what it is and for what it might be, rather than hating and punishing it until it is what it should be.

Love is a contentious thing…  I think of love as a feeling and as an action. As a feeling, it can describe anything from vague familial obligations to stalkery-obsession (coughtwilightcough). But as an action it’s easier to define – it’s about doing the best for someone, appreciating someone’s best qualities, understanding someone’s flaws, respecting someone, enjoying their company, and so on. Love is basically a Good Thing. Loving yourself and your body, in the action sense of doing the best thing for yourself and accepting yourself and appreciating your own best qualities and understanding your own flaws….  that’s good. It’s not selfish, unless of course you plan to ONLY love yourself, but then the point of selfishness is keeping something good to yourself when you could be sharing. “Love your neighbour as yourself” is how the Bible puts it, and I think it’s a nice phrase – love others as you would love yourself, love yourself as you would love others.

Loving your body may not be easy. I don’t always find it a piece of cake, pun very much intended. And that’s why I’m trying not to sound preachy about this – everyone has the right to feel however they feel about their own body and their own life. It would be bizarre to try and make anyone feel guilty and wrong for not loving their body. But I do wish everyone the happiness of the enjoyment of their own bodies. We do not have to hide until other people find us acceptable. We can enjoy our bodies right now. It is not up to those other people – whether they are family and friends, the media or just the idea of people that we have in our head. Our bodies are our own, and if we love them, there will be revolution.

To love your body, first of all know that it is not solely for other people to look at.  Your body is not an exhibit. It has your organs, your tissues, your cells. It has your mind. Your mind is not just spiritual consciousness floating where your body happens to be. It’s in your brain. Your brain is part of your body. Your body is you. Even if you only love your mind, you’ve taken the first step to loving your body.

Your body may not look perfect. Perhaps no one’s body is perfect. There is no Platonic ideal of what a body should look like. Concepts of beauty and attractiveness have changed vastly over the years, and are often tied up with wealth anyway – in Britain in the past, being fat and pale was considered beautiful, because fat people had plenty to eat and pale people didn’t have to work in the sun. In Britain now, being thin and tanned is considered beautiful, because thin and tanned people have the time and money for exercise and foreign holidays. Your body can be beautiful by its own standard, or you may choose not to think of beauty at all. This is fine.

Your body may not work perfectly. You may have health problems. At some point, all of us will. But hating your body will not help you be healthier. It will not take away pain. Taking good care of your body will help – and if you are going to love your body, you will treat it well.

I often feel that the weight-loss industry and the media in general, and doctors too (that’s a rant for another time!) implicitly suggest that you should hate your body in order to be healthy.  That we need shame to give ourselves healthy habits.  That we need to ‘punish’ ourselves with strict exercise routines or diets (having the odd chocolate as a ‘treat’), that we should ignore the signals our bodies give us, like hunger and pain.  That we should focus on one crude indicator of health rather than looking after ourselves entirely.

But treating ourselves well means finding out what our bodies need, rather than punishing them for not looking right.  It means doing exercise (if we can) because it is enjoyable and because it is good for our bodies, not because it will force our bodies to the right shape and sizeIt means eating a variety of foods. Our bodies need all sorts of nutrients – and contrary to popular belief, carbohydrates and fats are not bad. Our bodies need them, just as our bodies need proteins, vitamins and minerals.

We have got all caught up in a food and appearance based morality, where some foods are wicked (yet also treats!) and some foods are ‘guilt-free’. Guilt and eating should not be related. Perhaps, if the point was about environmental sustainability or animal cruelty, it could be worth discussing (I dread to think how many battery eggs I’ve probably eaten), but the diet plans aren’t encouraging responsible consumerism, they’re calling foods evil based on their calorie count.

Calories are not the enemy. Calories are a measure of energy. Your body needs energy. Without calories, you would be dead.

You should never feel guilty for eating. It does not make you a bad person. Being cruel, callous, selfish, or unkind? That is bad. But eating does not make you bad – it makes you human.

You should take care of your body. Appreciate its merits and idiosyncrasies. Accept its flaws. Enjoy being in it, and doing all the things that it allow you to do. Don’t worry about what other people think of it. Look after it. Love your body.

Footnotes
*OK, I’ve got a 3rd in Biochemistry, but I scored best on ‘Critical thinking’ and ‘Body and Metabolism’.   Oh, and Genetics, which is also kinda relevant.  Don’t ask me any Microbiology questions, I used that exam to write an angst note about how university is rubbish.

**I know that horseshit is a technical term because my favourite lecturer used it on a Paper Criticism module.