Helen Speaks

Mostly I don’t think words are overused. Of course there’s the odd catchphrase that gets into the woodwork but it was ever thus – I might be sick of “skibidi toilet” and “what the sigma” but my generation had “eat my shorts” so we all have our cross to bear.

What frustrates me is when a useful term is misused, to the point that it starts endangering the original meaning. We’ve observed how the word “woke” went from meaning “aware of injustice” to just “anything that people to the left of me and/or younger than me like”. It just feels like a meaningless slur, the same way that “Millennial” is/was used to mean “young person I don’t like”. Millennials are aged roughly 30-40 so very much not kids or teens.

It’s frustrating when it’s something that can be useful – discussion on “red flags” in someone you’re on a date with should help you in figuring out malevolent intent – I’m fond of quoting Frozen:

We finish each other’s…

Sandwiches!

That’s what I was gonna say!

People sometimes talk about “red flags” that are just dealbreakers – they wear shoes indoors and you think that’s gross? They hate the bands you love? Maybe they aren’t for you. But actual red flags are much subtler because they can seem positive. Like, maybe your date agrees with you on everything. Massive coincidence… or dishonesty? Maybe they suddenly position themselves as the answer to all your woes? Massive red flag! But it can seem tempting if you’re going through a hard time.

Jokey discussions on the internet positing anything mildly unpleasant as a “red flag” are potentially diluting useful warnings.

I also think that people get lazy. Gentle parenting is a phrase popularised by Sarah Ockwell-Smith – do read a short summary from her website.

But it’s often used pejoratively to mean a kind of anxiously permissive, insecure and ineffectual sort of parenting, very light on discipline and heavy on just letting a child have their own way. I mean, just search up “gentle parenting” to find a number of summaries that sound very different to Sarah Ockwell-Smith’s.

I’m not a parent myself so I can’t say if the approach as the proponents describe it is the absolute best way to raise a child, but I do think that if you’re going use an approach or if you’re going to criticise it, you should probably find out more about it than a few lazy stereotypes.